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Scott Wood - 29 months since I accepted I was gay
Scott Wood - 29 months since I accepted I was gay
It has been 29 months since I accepted I was gay. Over the coming months I came out to family and friends. Twenty-one months ago, I came out publicly. I have lost some friends and some family that choose to not understand. That is their choice.
I was closeted for 47 years and felt alone. I married a woman and stayed married and faithful for our entire marriage of 29 years. We have five amazing, beautiful, talented, hard-working sons.
The past three years have been difficult. Moving to my own place, getting a divorce, co-parenting our sons, and dating adults for the first time in my life are a few big challenges. At times, as I was in the middle of all the muck, It seemed like I could not keep moving. I was standing in the middle of a lake of manure. It was difficult to keep moving. It felt like I could not get to the other side, but I did not give up. I found unconditional friends, chosen family and community. I took tiny, baby steps to learn to love and accept myself as a gay man. I left 30+ years of shame and guilt in that lake of shit, where it belonged.
I started dating men and loving it. I found heartbreak. I found love. I found rejection from my faith community. I found a therapist. I now find a partner by my side and looking forward to the day when we decide to become legally married.
A few months ago I looked back at my life and realized I was no longer in that lake of manure. I had reached the edge, the stench was behind me and moving forward was much easier. This didn't happen overnight and it didn't happen with me hiding at home or in a closet. I did things that were very uncomfortable. I met new people. I dropped much of the judgement I had. I opened my heart and allowed myself to love and be loved again.
The closet is a very dark and lonely place. Guilt and shame eat away at your health, mind and soul. Stepping out and finding the measure of your creation is amazing. Some people, like me, take decades to feel safe. Other people are able to do it earlier in life.
For those still in the closet, for those just opening that door, and for those who have been out a long time, I am here, I am safe. There is a place for you and there is a community for you.
It has been 29 months since I accepted I was gay. Over the coming months I came out to family and friends. Twenty-one months ago, I came out publicly. I have lost some friends and some family that choose to not understand. That is their choice.
I was closeted for 47 years and felt alone. I married a woman and stayed married and faithful for our entire marriage of 29 years. We have five amazing, beautiful, talented, hard-working sons.
The past three years have been difficult. Moving to my own place, getting a divorce, co-parenting our sons, and dating adults for the first time in my life are a few big challenges. At times, as I was in the middle of all the muck, It seemed like I could not keep moving. I was standing in the middle of a lake of manure. It was difficult to keep moving. It felt like I could not get to the other side, but I did not give up. I found unconditional friends, chosen family and community. I took tiny, baby steps to learn to love and accept myself as a gay man. I left 30+ years of shame and guilt in that lake of shit, where it belonged.
I started dating men and loving it. I found heartbreak. I found love. I found rejection from my faith community. I found a therapist. I now find a partner by my side and looking forward to the day when we decide to become legally married.
A few months ago I looked back at my life and realized I was no longer in that lake of manure. I had reached the edge, the stench was behind me and moving forward was much easier. This didn't happen overnight and it didn't happen with me hiding at home or in a closet. I did things that were very uncomfortable. I met new people. I dropped much of the judgement I had. I opened my heart and allowed myself to love and be loved again.
The closet is a very dark and lonely place. Guilt and shame eat away at your health, mind and soul. Stepping out and finding the measure of your creation is amazing. Some people, like me, take decades to feel safe. Other people are able to do it earlier in life.
For those still in the closet, for those just opening that door, and for those who have been out a long time, I am here, I am safe. There is a place for you and there is a community for you.
Steven Skelley and Thomas Routzong
Copyright 2021 Sunny Harbor Publishing Sunny Harbor Publishing, Rockledge, FL 32955 Phone: 321-252-9874 Email: [email protected] Website: www.SunnyHarborPublishing.org 
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Gay Travelers Magazine
the best cruise & travel news, tips & reviews for the sensible gay traveler
the best cruise & travel news, tips & reviews for the sensible gay traveler